Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Randomize
