I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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