it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
