I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
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