All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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