I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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