what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Randomize
