Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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