you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Randomize
