My Higher Power is John Stamos
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
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