I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
