I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Someone signed my nipple.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
