i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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