I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
