i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Randomize
