why didn't you poke me back
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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