The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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