Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
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