I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
