Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
