ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
