I am in a vortex of obligation.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
