I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Randomize
