Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
