Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
