Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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