Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
