Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
