I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
