yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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