just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
