How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
