I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
ok first of all what the fuck
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
