just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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