yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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