PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My Sexting was not on an AP level
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
