i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
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