come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
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