I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
