he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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