Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
