It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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