Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
