you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
