sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
We're too hungover to prance.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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