He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
