you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
