i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
that's an acceptable place to lick
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
you will always have a special place in my vag
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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