I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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