i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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